I Miss You
by Skinny P. Sawyer
Summary: This is a one shot of Peyton's Mom's death. Describes my idea of young Peyton.


**Disclaimer: I do not own one tree hill or it's characters**

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I Miss you

Anna Rebecca Sawyer smiled as she stood in the doorway of her little girl's room. Peyton Elizabeth, the pride and joy of Larry and Anna Sawyer was fast asleep in her white princess bed. The tiny eight year old girl with platinum blonde curls sat up and yawned.

"Mornin' Momma." The pretty little girl said cheerily as she climbed out of bed and walked over to her mother.

"Good morning, angel. Get ready for school and then come down and get your art project ready, okay? It's due today princess." Anna reminded Peyton as she skipped past her mother on her way to the bathroom.

"Okay Mom," Peyton paused at the door to the bathroom and turned to face her mother for a moment. "Don't forget to pick me up from school early today. It Mommy/Peyton day and we need to be done before Brooke comes over!"  
Once a month, Anna would pull her daughter out of school early to spend a little extra time with her. During school was always the best time because the mall or park would be almost empty. Anna valued her time with her little girl, and wanted to make sure that they maintained a close relationship.

Peyton got ready for school: she brushed her wildly curly hair and pulled it into curly pigtails. She brushed her teeth and dressed herself in a pink tshirt with a black cat on it and her favorite jean skirt.

"Mom!" Peyton called, "can you come help me change my earrings?"

"Of course, baby. Which ones?" Anna asked as she slipped into Peyton's room and joined her at mirror.

"The pink studs." Peyton still needed help changing her earrings. It scared her so she always had her mom do it for her. Peyton winced as her mom slipped the earrings into her piercings.

"All done. Let's go eat breakfast and gather your project, then well head off to school."

"Okay." Peyton followed her mom down the stairs to the kitchen, where two Bowles of cereal we waiting for them. Larry sat at the table with his own bowl, smiling at his wife and precious daughter.

"How are my favorite girls? I prepared your favorite cereals, dig in!" Peyton giggled at her dad as she climbed into her chair. She was small for being eight, but her parents assured her she'd grow to be pretty tall eventually.

After breakfast, Anna and Peyton got in the car to head off to school. Peyton still had to sit in a booster seat because of her small stature. Once they pulled up to the drop off curb at the school, Peyton climbed out of her seat, put on her Disney princess backpack, and grabbed her project.

"Okay baby," Anna began, "I should be here to get you around 2. That gives us a little over two hours. Daddy is picking Brooke up from her house at 4 and bringing her to our house for your sleepover. Okay? Give me a kiss, baby. I love you!"

"Love you too, Momma." Peyton said as she leaned over the centre console of the car to give her mom a goodbye kiss. Peyton got out of the car and skipped directly over to her good friend Brooke Davis, who was getting off a large yellow school bus. Together the two skipped off toward the doors of the school. Anna made sure Peyton and Brooke made it safely inside before leaving for work.

The two girls were in the same class. Brooke and Peyton showed their art projects to each other. The project was to paint any place that the student thought had beauty. Brooke simply painted her large house, while Peyton had painted the river court. She and her mom had visited the place once out of curiosity, and Peyton, seeing a few older boys playing basketball with some younger kids, had been inspired to paint it. Peyton was very talented, and was able to paint the whole thing based of of some Polaroid pictures from the visit. In her painting there was every little detail she could squeeze in. The kids she'd drawn were two boys perched on the picnic table, one skinny and tall with straight brown hair and a blue polo shirt. The other, chubby and short in a red tshirt, curly brown hair and glasses.  
She'd drawn four little boys playing on the river court with two older boys. The older boys both had dark hair and had similar statures. One was shirtless while the other had a blue 'Ravens' shirt on. One boy had an Afro and was wearing a red shirt. The second with a white shirt and sandy brown hair. The third boy didn't have hair and was wearing a blue muscle shirt. The fourth boy, Peyton thought was really cute. She'd spent extra time perfecting him. He was short with sandy blonde hair and handsome blue eyes.

"Wow!" Brooke gasped as she peered over Payton's painting. "That's amazing Peyton! I know who that is!" She said pointing to the blonde boy. "That's Lucas Scott. His daddy abandoned him and his mom before he was even born. What's worse is his daddy is Nathan Scott's daddy too!"

"You know everyone Brooke, sheesh!" Do you know who they are?" She asked, pointing to the others. She had no clue who the people in her painting were.

"Sure I do! I think that kids name is Marvin McFadden. The other kid is Jimmy something. That's Fergie Thompson, that's John Moretti or something like that, his dad works in a junkyard. And that's Antwon Taylor. As for the older kids, they're John's brothers, I think. It's really good, P. Sawyer."

"Yours is too. Is that you and I on the doorstep? I've never seen those dresses?" Peyton asked pointing at the pretty red sundresses her friend had painted on them.

"I made them up. I like making up my own ideas for clothes." Brooke said as she lightly touched the dress she'd painted on herself.

The girls continued through the day as usual until it reached 2 o'clock. When her mom didn't show, Peyton started to think she'd forgotten about her.

Anna Sawyer was running late at work. Only when she realized she was a half hour late to get Peyton, did she shove all her work into files and run to her car. She felt terrible about forgetting to check the time and forgetting about her day with her precious daughter.  
She smiled at the picture taped to the dashboard of a six year old Peyton smiling without front teeth, and holding a baby tiger at the zoo. She looked so happy in the picture, it broke Anna's heart, knowing that her girl was unhappy right now because of her forgetfulness.  
Anna started her car and sped down the road. She was trying to get to Peyton's school as fast as she could. She couldn't let her down. She saw the light at the four way intersection turn yellow, so she sped to reach it. It turned red right as she was coming up on it. She didn't have time to stop. A gigantic SUV collided with the drivers side of Anna's little Pontiac, crushing in the entire left side.

Peyton sat sadly on the bench outside her school. Everyone else had left at 4 except the teachers working in the school. Just then, Peyton's favorite art teacher joined her on the bench.

"Hello, Peyton. Who's picking you up?" The kind woman asked as she sat beside her best student.

"My mom was supposed to be here by now." Peyton sniffled. She'd been crying. She was disappointed and afraid.

"I'm sure someone will come get you, honey. Mind if I wait with you?"

"No. It's fine." Peyton sniffled, wiping at her tears.

Larry Sawyer smiled as Brooke Davis climbed into the back seat of his old vintage car. He had two vintage cars and planned on giving this one to Peyton. He was glad to be a taxi driver for his daughter and her friends, he was just happy to see his little girl happy. Larry knew that Brooke never got any attention from her parents, so he felt like he should be as kind and helpful to the girl as he could. He often helped her with her homework when she and Peyton would do it together, and he never told Peyton that she couldn't come over. Brooke was always welcome. He liked Brooke. She was sweet and polite, and a good friend to Peyton.  
They chatted about school and Peyton as they drove the five minutes to the Sawyer household. Brooke was excited for the sleepover with her friend.

Larry was instantly concerned when he didn't see Anna's car at the house. Once Brooke and him were inside, he immediately when to check the phone.

**one new voice message:  
Hello, Mr. Sawyer. This is the Tree Hill hospital. We have your wife. We believe she ran a red light on her way to pick up your daughter. We contacted the school and they have the girl safe inside, they didn't tell her. Sir, you need to get here as soon as possible. Thank you.**

"Brooke we need to get back in the car, okay? Hurry, go." Larry's heart sunk as he thought of the situation. How badly was Anna hurt? Would she make it? What would him and Peyton ever do without her?

He made it to the elementary school in under 5 minutes. Once parked, he told Brooke to wait in the car, before sprinting to the front office. When he saw his frightened little daughter he ran straight to her and picked her up in a tight hug.

"Daddy, where's mommy? Where is she?" The little girl sobbed into her dad's shoulder.

"I'll tell you in the car, princess. Brooke is waiting for you." He said. His voice was shaken and he tried his best to conceal it from Peyton. The secretary gave him a sympathetic look before handing him Peyton's backpack. He took the backpack and jogged with his little girl in his arms back to the car. He put her in the back seat with Brooke who gave her friend a hug.

"Tell me where Mom is." Peyton demanded.

"Princess, Mommy got hurt really bad. She's in the hospital and we gotta go see her, okay?" Larry said, afraid for his daughter's reaction.

"Okay." Was all the terrified Peyton could say.

They arrived at the hospital a few minutes later. Brooke promised that she'd be good and wait quietly in the waiting room and not talk to strangers. Larry and Peyton followed an elderly doctor to a room in the ICU. Peyton gasped when she saw her mom.

"Mommy!" Peyton yelled as she ran across the room to her moms bed. She climbed up onto a chair and kneeled on it so that she could see her mom.

The doctor quietly told Larry the situation his wife was in so that Peyton couldn't hear. "Sir, your wife is brain dead. There's no getting her back at this point, and most of her organs are too severely damaged to donate. Basically all we can do now is keep her on life support until you give permission to pull the plug. I am so sorry for your loss, sir. I'm sure the police have a full description of the accident if you want it later."

"Does this mean my baby girl and I have to say goodbye to her?" Larry asked, his voice cracking.

"Yes, sir. I am so sorry. Either you can pull the plug on life support, or we can. The call button is right here when you're done. Okay?" She said soothingly. The old doctor had to do this so many other times in her life it was impossible to keep count, but she remembered each one, each time she'd told someone that a peice of their life was now gone. She left the room feeling choked up. She knew it wouldn't be easy for the young girl and her father.

Larry walked over to where Peyton was sitting and scooped her up into his arms before taking her place.  
"Peyton, sweetheart-" he hesitated. "Mommy isn't going to get better, baby."

"What? No! She has to!" Peyton protested, hot tears flowing down her flushed face.

"Baby girl, her body doesn't work anymore. We have to say goodbye now so that we can send her to heaven to live with Jesus." Larry choked, hugging Peyton as tight as he could.

"Is Jesus gonna take care of Mommy?" Peyton asked in a tiny voice.

"Of course, baby. He will take very good care of her, I promise. She'll be happy in heaven."

"Okay." Peyton turned to face her mother. "Mommy, I love you. I'm really gonna miss you helping me with my art, and doing my hair, and singing to me, and reading to me. I love you, Mommy. I hope you like being in heaven with Jesus, say 'hi' for me." Peyton climbed up onto the bed beside he mother and buried her face in her mothers shoulder.

"Anna," Larry began, "I love you, I have since the moment I set eyes on you. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. Our little girl needs you. I need you. This is going to be really hard, but I don't want you to worry, okay?" Larry began to recite his wedding vows from years ago:  
"'I love you now and I always will. You're the light in my life and I wouldn't be happy without you. You're my angel, and I promise to always be there for you, sickness and health. You can always count on me for anything. I love you, Anna Rebecca. I'll love you forever and a half.'"

After about 10 minutes of silence, Larry got himself together and placed a hand on Peyton's shoulder.  
"You ready to send Mommy to heaven, baby?" Peyton nodded and sobbed into her mothers lifeless body.

Larry edged over to to the thing that would end his wife's life for good. He closed his eyes and pulled the plug. The ventilator stopped working, and after a few moments, the heart rate monitor slowed to a constant flat line and a terrible monotone. He cried with Peyton for a while before pushing the button for the doctor. He kissed his wife before picking up his daughter and carrying her from the room.

When Peyton saw Brooke in the waiting room, she jumped from her father's arms and ran to her. Brooke understood at once and sat with Peyton and held her as they cried together.  
"It's gonna be okay, P. Sawyer. I'm gonna stay up with you and cry with you as long as you need me too, okay?" Peyton nodded against her best friend as they cried.

The three eventually made it to the car and drove to the Sawyer household. Larry decided to let Brooke stay to comfort Peyton. He informed the girls that there were things to make soup and sandwiches, and other snacks if they got hungry. He then went to the room he'd shared with his wife and locked himself in for the rest of the night.

Peyton and Brooke locked themselves in Peyton's room. Brooke cried with Peyton and listened to her when she wanted to talk. They didn't go to sleep that night, they just sat up all night and talked and cried.

In the morning, Larry walked slowly up to Peyton's door and knocked three times. Brooke answered the door in her Winnie the Pooh pajamas, her eyes droopy from exhaustion.

"Hey Brooke." Larry sniffled. "Let me see my Peyton." Larry edged past Brooke into the room. He sat down slowly on the edge of the bed where Peyton was curled up with one of her moms shirts, her eyes wide and watery. She was in the Snow White pajamas her mother had got her for Christmas last year.  
"Hey princess. I have to go somewhere today. It's not really a place for kids, so do you think you and Brooke will be okay alone?" Larry had to go meet a woman at the funeral home to plan Anna's funeral and burial. He didn't want Peyton to have to experience that at such a young age.

"But Daddy, we're only eight and nine!" Peyton whined.

"It's okay, Peyton," Brooke cut in as she came to sit beside Larry and Peyton. "I'm home alone all the time! Nothing bad has ever happened. It's okay." Peyton gave Brooke a cautions look before agreeing to stay at home with Brooke.

"Okay sweetie. Keep the doors locked, do not answer the door for anyone at all. If they're important, they'll have a key. And do not answer the phone unless a voice message from me, and only me starts, okay?"

"Okay Daddy. We'll be okay, I guess."

"Alright, I'll be home as soon as possible, I promise." Larry bent to kiss his daughter on the cheek and give both girls hugs.  
"Love you, Peyton. Remember to call 911 if there's a big emergency, okay?"

"I know, Daddy. Love you too."

In the weeks and months following Anna Rebecca Sawyer's death, Brooke came by every day to comfort Peyton and make sure she was doing okay. Peyton slept with her mothers shirt and cried herself to sleep every night. Larry wasn't keen on cooking, so he often ordered pizza and would put outrageous toppings on it to make Peyton laugh. He wanted his little daughter to forget about the pain, even if it just was for a little while. Peyton started listening to older music, punk rock, and alternative music. She was able to relate to a lot of the lyrics she heard.  
Once when Larry was in the super market, he gave Peyton a few bucks to go grab an album from the music store. He'd given her Anna's old record player from the basement, and told her to go get something to play on it. Peyton searched around the store, reading descriptions and lyrics until she found one that she liked: Elvis Costello: My Aim is True. After that, she bought many more albums and spent a lot of time in her room, listening to the records and drawing her feelings with ink and paper.

Peyton eventually adjusted her daily routine to work without her mom, though she hated not having her there anymore.  
When Peyton was a Freshman, her father got a job as a fisherman and would be gone for weeks at a time. Though Peyton hated when he was gone, she'd never let him know that because she knew he loved his job. She didn't want to ruin that.

Peyton thought about her mom everyday, and wondered what her life would be like if she was still alive. After she got her license, Peyton would run red lights. She did it because she didn't understand how she could run so many, while her mother only ran one and got killed. She was almost trying to prove a point to herself. Peyton missed her mother with her entire heart, but she knew she wasn't ever coming back.

You used to call me your angel  
Said I was sent straight down from heaven  
You'd hold me close in your arms  
I love the way you felt so strong

I never want you to leave  
I want you to stay here holdin' me

I miss you, I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here some how

My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,  
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer  
And now I'm livin' out my dream  
Oh, how I wish you could see  
everything that's happening for me

I'm thinkin' back on the past  
It's true the time is flyin' by too fast

I miss you, I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here some how

My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,  
I miss you

I know you're in a better place yeah  
But I wish that I could see your face, oh  
I know you're where you need to be  
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you, I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,

I miss you, I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow

My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you,  
I miss you...

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**Song 'I Miss You' by Miley Cyrus. **

**Reviews appreciated **


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